Bennett,

Has it really been four months? There are moments when I feel like I just met you, but most of the time, I cannot imagine life without you. You have brought more joy into daddy and I’s lives than we ever dreamed possible. I remember the first week you came home and all I could think was…how can something so little bring so much simultaneous pain and joy. Of course, I couldn’t find the word simultaneous since I spent most of the late night hours with you, snuggled in your room. Such vocabulary seemed like a distant memory, fogged by sleepy thoughts. Now that you’re sleeping a little better (most of the time), mommy has gotten a bit better about finding the right words.

You are getting to be more and more independent with each day that passes, although, you much prefer the company of others. You still love being held and being close. You have turned mommy from a cactus to a puddle of mush with your snuggles. I treasure each and every time I get to hold you. I have talked to other mommies and have realized that this time is so short…and I will never get it again. Still, each mommy reassures me that it just keeps getting better. I cannot imagine loving you more than I do right now, but I have loved you more each passing day.

You have been a ray of sunshine in your fourth month. We have gone to the pool a lot this summer and you have grown to love it. At first, you weren’t so sure. The water was a little too cool, after all. Now, you’re a regular water baby. You love splashing around with both of us.

You have been busy spending time with Makenna, Theo, Judah, Glory, and all of your cousins. You had your first adventure at Waumba Land…it was much less scary than mommy thought. You got to be held and cuddled by your Aunt Jillian and met your uncle Todd. It was a precious time for mommy as you, unknowingly, got a chance to be close to your new baby cousin. You got to meet Aunt and Uncle Pat the greats. They gushed over how perfect you are. And you are perfect, my dear.

You also had your first trips to some police precincts…and that is a story for another day. Who knew that by the time you were four months old, you’d have seen the inside of the Dekalb South Precinct twice. You’re pretty much a hard knock.

You still love to stand and you really don’t like tummy time. We keep trying to be persistent and you are certainly strong enough to push up to your elbows and sometimes start to imitate an army crawl. You have started to really like sitting up (with assistance) and you definitely love your toys and bouncer.

You have also discovered your tongue. Every time you smile now, you stick it out like Michael Jordan. Is this a sign that you’ll be #23? League MVP? Kidding of course…

I have loved hearing you try out your vocal chords too. You are so funny when you try to talk. I still get to hear your sweet coos, but now you like to sing and tell stories. Fathers Day morning you decided Daddy didn’t need to sleep in. Silly boy…

You’ve gotten better in the car seat. At least now, you’ve gotten used to riding a bit more peacefully back there. I think the addition of your clip-on fan helped. It is, after all, way too hot these days.

There is so much in the news lately that breaks my heart. I’m not sure what to think about these stories of mommies and daddies leaving their babies in the car, but it has inspired some unsolicited, late-night hugs from me to you. My heart aches for the families of the babies who have not made it.

I can’t think about it too much because it makes me want to cry.

But you, my son, always make me smile. You have stolen the part of my heart that I didn’t even know existed. I am a better person simply because you have made me a mommy. You and your daddy are the loves of my life and you have both changed me for the better. I love you so very much.

Mommy