Dear Bennett,

I’m finding it difficult to believe that you are almost a year old.

On this day last year, we took photos of you in my big belly.

 

Thirty six weeks of pregnancy can do a number on mommies. I kept it together for the most part, though admittedly, I cried a time or two in public.

The day I found out that you were on the way, I began to write you notes. Writing you a note a month before I met you wasn’t entirely unusual; although I had finally come to the realization that I would soon get to hold you in my arms. That sounds odd, but I felt things I had never experienced in my life.

“Any anxiety I may feel about labor and your infancy has been completely eclipsed by this overwhelming love and excitement I feel when I think about holding you for the first time…You are an answered prayer and the child I have waited my entire life to meet.”

You were a Christmas gift I had waited 28 years to enjoy. I could not wait to see what you looked like. I had vivid dreams about what you would be like as a baby. I wanted to kiss your face instead of simply rubbing my belly. It was almost go time and I was terrified and excited and happy and weepy. It must’ve been exhausting for your daddy.

I will never forget that day; and thankfully, we have photographs to prove how excited we were to meet you. 1 year later and I am baffled at how quickly time can pass when you become a parent. Perhaps the years started to speed up when I reached my twenties without you, but now the moments seem to be on hyperdrive. I find myself desperately clinging to each memory as it happens; terrified that I will miss something because I exhaled; blinked; and you became a little boy.

January was a quiet month, although you went on your first plane ride to meet your cousin Mason.

You were a great little boy on both flights. I was impressed by your patience and hope we have more pleasant flights to follow in the coming months.

It was so precious to see you and the Twiss boys together. I am so excited for more time with Mason as you both get bigger and start to play together. It is a wonderful thing to have a cousin so close in age…I know! My cousin is one of my favorite people ever.

We didn’t have a way to get around Atlanta this month; so most of our month was spent indoors. It was a cold month, so that was okay with me.

You are pulling up on everything and you love to walk everywhere…as long as we are holding both hands. Otherwise, you cry and cry. You still have 8 teeth, although I think you may be getting a few more. You say “mama” when you’re sad; “dada” all day long; and I could have sworn you’ve said “book” a few times. Mostly, you babble and squeal.

We’ve had a bit of a struggle with solid food this month; for now, you really love snacks. You also eat cheerios, oatmeal, cheese, kale (really–that’s like the only vegetable you’ll eat…), peanut butter sandwiches, and just about anything you can pick up with your fingers. You will not eat anything that I feed you, Mr. Independent.

You love to play peek-a-boo; you play with trucks and trains nearly all day and love to throw a ball and crawl to chase after it. You’re so very active these days.

As for me and your daddy, we’re just enjoying this last month of your infancy; it wasn’t so terrifying after all. I love you more with each and every day–so I guess I am ok with you growing up.

Mommy