Let’s talk about the first 13.

Those first 13 weeks of pregnancy, that is.

Most every pregnant woman sees a positive pregnancy test somewhere between weeks three and four…that is if she is trying to conceive; any woman who has spent more than one month in this process understands what the abbreviations TTC; DPO; PPT; BBT; BFN; BFP mean. And let’s be real, there is NOTHING more obnoxious than trying to figure out an unknown abbreviation–CAN’T WE JUST TYPE OUT THE WORDS!?!

I digress. Once you’ve successfully conceived a little one (LO if you’re ever on a TTC forum), you live in a perpetual state of irrational fear.

I totally had cheese dip week 2. And I’m pretty sure I had Mahi Mahi fish tacos three times in a week. AND I PROBABLY RUINED MY UNBORN CHILD FOREVER!

Everything becomes hazardous. Going out to eat isn’t quite as relaxing anymore;

I need the steak medium well. No pink, please, but also, please don’t cook it too well. Dry steak is disgusting.

The Greek Salad comes loaded with feta? Is there a feta-free Greek salad?

And let’s talk about the unpleasant side effects of pregnancy. Your “baby bump” is merely a food baby; you haven’t really started to show…but you really have. If you were somewhat body conscious before, you are acutely aware that your abs are separating and your little baby is really pushing his or her way to expanding your once small waistline.

AND if you’re waiting out your first trimester to share your news, you get sideways glances from just about everyone you know. You’re pretty sure that when they get back in the car they make some remark that goes something like this,

“She has reeeaaaaally let herself go. Did you see how much she ate for dinner? What a heifer.”

Oh yeah, let’s talk about your appetite. Some days you can’t stomach anything. Other days, you are possessed by a demon hunger that will not stop until it’s eaten everything in your house. And I do mean everything. You quickly find out that eating a spoon full of ketchup isn’t exactly the most satisfying snack ever.

And suddenly, you smell colored marshmallows everywhere you go. And if you don’t find a bag, you’ll become Martha and figure out how to use the left over confectioners sugar and food coloring to make yourself colored marshmallows.

Just me? Don’t worry. I found the marshmallows.

When you’re not nauseated or eating everything you can see, you’re sleeping…or wishing you were sleeping. If you’re working or stay at home with a toddler, this isn’t entirely possible. Now, I’ve never had to work during my first trimester, but this time around, I have been playing with a very small and very active little guy.

And let’s talk about the guilt when you physically cannot keep up anymore. Don’t judge me, but I’m pretty sure we’ve had more than a handful of days when I was laying prostrate on the couch while little guy rolled some trucks on the floor. Whoever said screen time was the devil, is the devil. Screen time is valuable. Screen time is necessary. Screen time builds vocabulary. And I’m pretty sure screen time gives my little guy vitamins.

At least I’ll tell myself that.

All that said, even though I’ve spent some mornings hovering near the john while my little guy begged me to hold him (and no one can resist a little sweetheart calling you mom) there is nothing quite like realizing that in just a few (long, but short) months, you’ll get to experience infancy again. You’re going to fall in love all over again.

And that helped me push through the first thirteen–that and the help of Daniel Tiger.